care, affection, recognition, respect, commitment, trust, honset and open communication

all-about-loveI’ve started to read this book many times over the past decade and never quite made it all the way through. That happens a lot to me because I suck at reading. But I can’t help but wonder if the subject matter of this particular book has contributed to my reading delinquency. I want to read the book because I need to balance my understanding of love by watching 50 First Dates with something a little more relevant. Racist depictions of Hawaiin culture and Adam Sandler’s sexual escapades can only take you so far. I figure between growing up under the circumstances I have (namely patriarchy) and my not so awesome relationship record, I could use a lot of help in the love department.

Anyway I started this article like weeks ago and then I started reading No Country For Old Men. See what I mean! So the plan is to post awesome quotes from the book throughout the week(s) while I finish it up. That way I’m accountable to my blog. Blog justice. Dude the book isn’t even that long. And how hard can it be to read about a subject that’s plastered all over our social imagery. I mean love is what makes a subaru a subaru after all.

Let’s start it off with the simple definition of love:

the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.*

the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.*

When I was in like 5th grade I had a big crush on this girl named Lelian. I wrote I love Lelian over and over again on a sheet of paper and thought that was pretty awesome. What if my teacher made me write Eric Fromm’s definition of love over and over on the chalk board instead? What if instead of slamming myself around my room listening to these lyrics: “My Life Suffocates / Planting Seeds of Hate / I’ve Loved, Turned to Hate / Trapped Far Beyond My Fate / I Give / You Take / This Life That I Forsake / Been Cheated of My  / Youth You Turned this Lie to Truth / Anger / Misery /  You’ll Suffer unto Me”, I was learning about the word consent? How about instead of tossing beer bottles at my girlfriend I was talking to my mom? Unfortunately, I could go on. Lately I’ve been wondering if people really think its a badge of honor to say they have no regrets? In the words of Ariel, I’ve got plenty.

*”spiritual” the dimension of our core reality where mind, body and spirit are one.

2 thoughts on “care, affection, recognition, respect, commitment, trust, honset and open communication

  1. How about this love quote that you ingrained in me (even though I had no idea what it meant): love is the ultimate revolution? Maybe you should get it as a tattoo.

    I think about this topic a lot, especially when thinking about (one day) raising children. I really want to learn how to model healthy, honest, respectful, and consensual relationships and hopefully, in turn, have that be their model rather than 50 First Dates and beer bottles thrown at girlfriends.

  2. Thanks for introducing me to this book, sounds amazing and this is the first i’ve heard of it. Have you read bell hooks’ The Will To Change? Its a book I re-read every 3 years.

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